Regardless, I’m a pessimist, a pessimist that would make y’all piss. On this post, I try to answer the questions of what, why, and how. Who would probably know how I feel being a freak to everyone? I’m in a position where my heart is flooded with tears. Well, I guess cold blooded creatures think it’s fun being companied by misery. I want to clarify the circumstances I’ve been going through. As I promised, I want to make a change. I don’t want to be buried by this sorrow anymore. But it seems like, the cancer is hitting me.
Like every year, we had this so called reunion dinner with the family (konon la). It had never been fine to me. All I ever did was just sit and stare, go mute, surrounded by these oddness and hatred. I felt fucking awkward, no! the situation is terribly awkward perhaps seeing other family on other tables; they could eat happily and had a lot of chit chat. While on the other hand, I didn’t know where I belong to. I was just stranded in the middle, I wanted to close my ear, and been waiting for the time to pass by as quickly as possible.
So asking why am I so quiet? I know I can’t project you a clear picture instead of just a lame story that doesn’t make any sense. You’d know if you’re me, right. Thus, what made me today is formed by these cells of grudge, misery, and darkness. It’s up to you, you can call me a freak, a lunatic, a monster, a paranoid, etc that disgusted you, pardon me. I’m already jaded with all these matters, end up now I’m having a heavy migraine, losing my hair, back pain and sleepless night. Are these the signs and symptoms of indicating cancer or any other diseases? Well, hope so. *fucking retard.*
Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year, hope y’all have a prosperous year ahead.
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